Idiots Guide to Interviews
Do not. I repeat. DO NOT BUY A COFFEE BEFORE AN INTERVIEW (#1).
This post has been brought on my "rookie error of the year" move, whereby I decided it would be a fabulous idea to purchase a coffee before my interview.
Let me just explain what happened:
So basically, I get there and walk past a coffee stand and think - hey its cold, maybe I should buy a coffee - bad idea.
I get to my interview, coffee still in hand (which also looks super rude) and I basically realise how stupid I am. Between my handbag and my coffee, I didn't have a free hand to shake with. ALWAYS HAVE A FREE HAND TO SHAKE WITH (#2). Awkwardly realising how much of an ass I am, I quickly tried to juggle my shit around and made a bigger ass of myself and shook hands like a little piss weak girl.
Rule #3 - learn how to shake a person's hand like you are the toughest chicka out and nobody is better than you. I could tell they were already judging me by my mistake so basically it was all or nothing and the only thing to do was make myself sound fabulous (#4). It ended with me - still awkwardly holding my cup and bag - with my head held high and my dignity still partially intact (#5).
Always, always, leave confidently and basically act like you are walking out of the room with the hottest Louboutins on and you look like Miranda Kerr (#6) (even if your a dude, act like you have a fabulous pair of heels on and you look like Chuck Bass).
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| "Well that was horrible, lets never try and work ever again." |
Other things to consider:
- NEVER BE LATE
- Be sure to dress spectacularly
- Smell gloriously wonderful - so much so that they ask what perfume you are wearing
- ^ if that happens, chuck in some humour about how its eau de natural
- If you sound funny - they'll be all like "hey she's funny - she'd be rad to work with"
- And yes, deep down they will be saying rad like its 1999 and they're still wearing rainbow bomber jackets, thinking they'll ride a hover board one day.
- Smile. With teeth.
- Good posture = I am considerate to my 80 year old self who deserves a life free from back pain
- Be respectful - don't swear, maintain eye contact and be sincere.
Me today ^
There are thousands of other things that I could say about this, but these are the basics to my idiots guide to an interview.
Beck
